Navigating the Heartbreak of Early Pregnancy Loss
Experiencing an early pregnancy loss can be one of the most heartbreaking events a woman can face. If you’ve recently gone through this, know that you are not alone. Many women share this painful journey, and it's important to recognize the emotional and physical impact it can have. I have experienced 2x miscarriages, one at 7 weeks and one where I first was told I miscarried at 7 weeks, to find out baby had a heartbeat at 9 weeks, to then miscarry and have a D&C at 11 weeks. Both of this were IVF pregnancies. You can read about my journey here.
In this blog post, we will explore what early pregnancy loss means, the feelings you might experience, and how to find support during this challenging time.
Understanding Early Pregnancy Loss
Early pregnancy loss, often referred to as a miscarriage, typically occurs within the first 12 weeks of pregnancy. It can happen for various reasons, including chromosomal abnormalities, hormonal imbalances, or health issues. It’s important to remember that this is not your fault. Many factors are beyond our control, and it’s sadly, common for pregnancies to end in loss.
The Emotional Rollercoaster
The emotions that accompany early pregnancy loss can be overwhelming. You may experience a range of feelings, including:
Grief: Mourning the loss of a pregnancy can be as profound as losing a loved one. Allow yourself to grieve.
Guilt and Shame: It’s common to wonder if you could have done something differently. Remember, most losses are not preventable.
Anger and Frustration: It’s normal to feel angry at the situation or even at others who seem to have an easier time with pregnancy.
Isolation: Many women feel alone in their grief, but it’s important to reach out and connect with others.
It’s also important to remember both parents will experience a range of emotions, but may experience them at different times and may deal with them differently. Communicate with each other about how you are feeling.
Finding Support
During this time, support is vital. Here are some avenues to explore:
Talk to Loved Ones: Share your feelings with friends or family members who can provide comfort and understanding. You don’t have to go through this alone. You don’t have to tell everyone, but do find someone you can speak to. Also, feel free to tell everyone if you want to. It’s about doing what is most helpful for you. There is no right or wrong to how you deal with this.
Seek Professional Help: A therapist or counselor specializing in pregnancy loss can offer valuable tools to navigate your emotions.
COPE (Centre of Perinatal Excellence) has resources for coping after miscarriage.Online Communities: There are numerous online forums and social media groups where you can connect with others going through similar experiences. Please know you are always welcome to message or email me. I’d love to connect, hear your story and offer any support I can.
Looking After Yourself
During this difficult time, looking after yourself becomes even more critical. Make sure you:
Rest: Allow your body and mind time to heal. Don't hesitate to take a break from work or daily responsibilities.
Express Yourself: Journaling, talking, painting, drawing, or other creative outlets can be therapeutic ways to process your feelings.
Mindfulness and Meditation: Practicing mindfulness can help center your thoughts and manage anxiety. Apps like Headspace or Calm can guide you through this process. My Affirmation cards can also help you focus on gentle, helpful messages.
Physical Activity: Gentle exercise, like walking or yoga, can help alleviate stress and improve your mood.
Remembering Your Baby
Many women find comfort in creating a memorial for their lost pregnancy. This could be anything from planting a tree or flower, a special piece of jewelry, a special area with flowers, a candle and an ultrasound photo. Finding a way to honor your baby can be a powerful step in your healing journey. I encourage you to think about something you would like to do in honour of your baby. You will always love and remember your baby.
Looking Ahead
As time passes, the pain of early pregnancy loss may not completely fade, but it can become easier to carry. How long this takes is very individual. There is no rush, no timeline. There are days now, where I still feel immense sadness for the baby’s I lost.
When you feel ready, consider discussing your hopes for future pregnancies with your healthcare provider. They can help you navigate your journey forward. If you have had more than one loss, be sure to ask for referral to a specialist who can look into whether there is a reason.
Be aware, a future pregnancy will not take away the pain of pregnancy loss and speaking from experience, will be a highly anxious time.
I will soon be releasing an article on coping with pregnancy after loss, so check back in soon for that.
Conclusion
Early pregnancy loss is a deeply personal and often isolating experience, but remember that you are not alone. Embrace your feelings, seek support, and allow yourself grace and time to heal. Each person’s journey is unique, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. In time, with support and self-compassion, you will find a way to move forward.
If you need someone to talk to, don’t hesitate to reach out to a friend, family member, professional, or me. You deserve to be heard and supported.
Much love,
Jess
